My dear friends,
I want to speak to you this week on loneliness. I know that this topic is at the surface for many of us, and this is to be expected. We continue to wade through turbulent and unpredictable times, we are still living in a greater sense of isolation and regulation, and we are continuing to take precautions when we get together with people. Loneliness is a natural outcome in these circumstances.
There has been so much asked of us over the past year, and I really hope you recognize and honor yourself for your resiliency and perseverance, but again, none of this is easy. Living in a continual state of pivot and unease will absolutely take it’s toll on us; mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Like I said before, loneliness is a natural by product of the times we are living in. They are truly unprecedented.
While I cannot come and sit with you all and give you a friendly hug, I hope to share some reminders, for when you’re feeling extra lonely, so that maybe you can feel a little virtual hug.
Remember that you won’t feel this way forever. Loneliness, just like every other emotion, both positive and negative, will not last. Whenever I find myself feeling down or sad about being alone, it’s so helpful for me to remember that it eventually will pass.
Remember that sometimes there are silver linings to being in your own company. I am someone who used to really not like being alone, but I have to say, I’ve grown to actually love it. I relish the time that I can spend by myself. So much of the world has been turned upside down, what better time to come back home to yourself, to get to know yourself on a deeper level, to tap into your creative desires or long lost hobbies, and to really become your own best friend. Last week, I spoke on the topic of self-love, and this is where this comes into play. Treat yourself like you would someone you love and cherish, because you deserve that, too.
Remember don’t take your loneliness, personally. Often times when I’m feeling separated from the world, it’s easy for me to write stories that blame myself for my loneliness. This can look like, “people don’t want to be with you anyway,” “you’re not worthy of someone else’s company,” “you’re going to be alone forever.” These negative and self-sabotaging stories are sticky for the mind, and so, so easy to fall into. Don’t allow it. When you notice that you are feeling particularly lonely, train yourself to become extra aware of the stories your mind starts to tell you, and nip the nasty ones in the bud. Being alone says nothing about your worthiness or capacity for love, it just means that you get the space to love and honor yourself.
I hope these reminders serve you as we continue to move through these challenging times. If nothing else, I hope you find comfort in knowing that even though we are apart, we experience all these emotions, together.